I'd like to share the thoughts of one of our youngest missionaries-Kenny. I pray you will be touched.
Sam if it were possible for you to read this at this moment, I'd like to thank you, apologize, and let out some of the thoughts I've had after having been with you during my Philippines mission trip back in 2010. I'm incredibly sorry for not saying this when I should of, at the memorial service. But I knew I wasn't ready, I would've either said nothing or too much with tears and saliva dripping from my mouth. So I am here with a blog post to organize my thoughts instead, and I hope you can forgive me for that.
To be honest, when I first met you I didn't find myself dying to be your friend and starting a relationship that I actually have with your brother, Shem. I found you to be quite the character, loud and obnoxious; kind of like me but despite our common personality, I just found you to be out of my reach. When we talked, it was a bit awkward but I still cherished your presence as I hoped you cherished mine. We were able to do some stupid things here and there, but I noticed the lack in actual building between our friendship. I truly regret this, I regret not being able to start a relationship that I have now with Shem, I regret not taking the initiative to start something great with you. We left shallow imprints on each others hearts before we parted ways, but yours ended up deepening over time.
Sam, I valued your principles, but most of all I valued what you were most best at: loving. No one knows, but I've always looked up to the brotherly relationship you shared with your ading Shem. I can remember the time when we were traveling in a crowded, sweaty van but you and your brother humbly took the trunk; the whole ride consisted of your jokes and laughing along with Shem. You guys prevented me from sleeping despite my fatigue, but I didn't mind. You see, I have two brothers but my relationship with them is no where near the one you hold with yours. Unfortunately, my brothers and I are sometimes quite distant with one another and we can't openly joke and share with each other as you two do. Honestly, I was jealous. I had always wanted a brother like you, one that cared so deeply for their ading and expressed his love for his younger brother so easily. Mine are much different, and I grew up with a semi-cold heart against them because they wouldn't play with me or say they loved me. You manifested God's love in each and every one of your actions, and that empowered me to be the same. You never knew this and I don't know how much of a difference it would have made for me to have told you, but I do wish I could've returned to the loving Sam I met last year.
Because of you, I have hope to renew relations with my own siblings. When I think of you, I think of brotherhood and I only wish that I had started one with you. We barely knew each other, yet look at the change you created in me. I am forever grateful to you and your mission and I know God is definitely pleased with what you have done and left for your fellow brothers and sisters to carry on. I can only imagine the pains that your close, loved ones feel; maybe I'll never understand. While we're all in a time of mourning, I'm still happy that you're with God with ate Weng now. I hope we, the people left to complete your legacy, can make you proud just as you made God proud. I cannot wait to be with you in heaven one day, where I will make sure I can create an everlasting bond of friendship and brotherhood.
Yours truly,
Kenny Jin
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