Remembering Sam: A True Friend & Brother

"You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you 
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you"-MercyMe

Sam, me, Shem: Together in Baguio

Whenever I write these posts, I write as a coordinator. I look to spread awareness and to challenge people to step outside their comfort zone and be a part of God's work. But right now, I'm not writing as a coordinator or a leader or a student....I'm just a sister who misses her brother terribly.

I've been going to and from the Philippines since I was 12 years old. My first real friends in the Philippines were Sam, Ate (sister) Weng, Shem, Chad, Ate Shine and the University Baptist Church youth. And no matter how long I am gone from the Philippines, every time I come back, it always feels like I never felt and we all just pick up from where we left off.

Teaching the children music

The earliest memories I have of Sam are of him playing the drums at UBC. To me, he was the best drummer-hands down! He was so talented. I always marveled at how well he played every instrument. He was always kind, always nice, always smiling and he was always laughing. He and Ate (sister) Weng always treated me like a little sister and I loved them both for doing so. As time went on with trials and triumphs, Sam went from being a funny teenager to a man of God ever willing and ever ready to serve Christ. At our last mission, I looked with pride to see him lead our congregation in worship. I couldn't believe that this was the same Sam I had known all these years.

The very last picture I took with the three of us

But what I remember most about Sam weren't his exceptional talents in music and leadership. I remember all the little things-the most important things. I remember his kindness. His unmistakeable laugh that still rings in my ears today. I remember the way he would always say, "Don't cry! You'll come back here again!" whenever I cried upon leaving the Philippines. The way loved his niece and nephew and carried them around like they were his own children. I remember the way he made others laugh. I remember the times he would have the guitar and we would all sing together. And if we made a mistake with the lyrics we would say, "Pirated yan!" (It's pirated!=Pirated version) Every time I came home to the Philippines, he was there. Every time I went out with my cousins and friends just to have fun, he was there. In my happiest moments and in the moments where I cried like a baby, Sam was there.  I couldn't imagine not having Sam around and although I trust God and accept this, it's still brings tears to my eyes to know that he won't be there to greet me when I step down from the plane the next time I return.

Brother & Sister forever

Sam, if I had to write about all the memories that we shared and the wonderful times we had together, I would never finish this blog. I watched with pride as you came out of difficult circumstances and mature into the man of God you were meant to be. My life has been changed, because you were a part of it. I cannot thank you enough for everything. But I think what I am most grateful for, is that you taught me the one Taglog word I cherish the most-Ading (younger sibling). You loved me and treated me as your own ading. You called me ading. Because I know what it is to be loved and be called ading, I can give that same kind of love and call others my ading too. You are the best brother anyone could ask for. I miss your laugh and the way you made me laugh. As I try to smile through the sobs and chuckle through the tears at all the wonderful memories, I can't properly express the joy of having known you and the sorrow of being separated from you. I'm not sad because you are in fellowship with Christ, but my heart aches because of how long I have to wait until we meet again. I'll never forget you. I love you so much brother and I miss you.

I'll see you later.

Your ading,
-Melissa M.


"In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"-MercyMe